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Responding to the Past as We Chart the Future

Why I explore consciousness through augmenting embodiment + Response to Gender Critical Theorists

I googled myself after a while and see the gender critical theorists still have not realized that I am not the DJ hired to produce an event in Baltimore. Yes, I am responsible for the text they wrote about alcohol and ‘hanging TERFS’ - whatever that means. And I own needing to vet content published on my orgs social media before releasing it.

For context, the Baltimore Transgender Alliance hosted multiple events each day of Pride that year and I was not able to review all the content as the org functioned in a decentralized manner with my engagement only regarding event attendance and social media impressions. I did not even attend that event.

More deeply, the focus from the gender critical theory crowd and the original intent of our DJ to draft those comments reveals a deep level of pain in these identitarian communities. To which I can only say:

I am sorry to see you are in so much pain.

To accountability, I did question Julia Beck in city hall about her desire to repeal the Prison Rape Elimination act. To me this was non-partisan and focussed on mitigating violence within the incarcerated population. The mechanism was to ensure that individuals who had surgically altered their genitals had the authority to choose the population they would be housed with within Baltimore’s prison system. This legislation was passed in the late 1990s and generated an immediate reduction in prison rape of transexual individuals by over 90%. The fact that Julia was advocating for the repeal of the act revealed that she did value post surgery transsexual individuals experiencing violence as a consequence of their life decisions. I disagree with this stance and believe in more tolerance.

In fact, I have never fully agreed with the transgender ideology’s medicalization policies; my line in the sand to detransition and leave the movement was the extension of these policies to youth questioning gender. When an administration forces parents to acquiesce to the impulses of youth under 18 years old to hormonally alter their developmental cycles; I knew that there were other incentives behind the scenes and this movement was dishonest.

I went inward, stopped all hormone injections, and began meditating at least 1 continuous hour per day. The result was a journey into indigenous psycho-spiritual technologies and a return to the rhythmic intelligence running through the earth, seasons, and our bodies. These cycles align our physical and psychological developmental stages with our peer bonding strategies and neurological development. Any intervention in these rhythms has derivative impacts beyond our visibility; and with potential catastrophic results to the health of the individuals.

So, again, I am sorry that these theorists, who ignorantly attack me without even inspecting how aligned some of our perspectives are, are still in pain.

For the record, standing for a harm reduction policy within prisons and failing to catch an alcoholic DJ’s repressed anger do not constitute violence and I would be happy to discuss further with Julia and her well organized activists at Reduxx and other such sites. Maybe you would consider signing PragerU’s petition against youth indoctrination? If you believe your recruitment methods do in fact preserve the agency of your young activists in standing in their power. Or are gender critical theorists equally guilty to the transgender ideologues in their victim based coercion tactics in recruitment and retention? Genuine question, as I do not know where or why so many young people are enrolled in cyber bullying transgender youth into suicidal actions. It seems like the hurt hurting one another from where I am standing.

So again, I am sorry to see that your hearts are so heavy.

I recommend speaking with elders, healers, coaches, and mentors who are securely established in their own businesses. Not job holders working under another’s agenda; but truly free agents, living successfully in their power. How are these people thinking differently from yourselves?

And now for awareness of the medical processes I have experienced and the costs of transition and detransition:

I completed

6 years estrogen and bio-identical prometrium treatments

$15k+ laser hair removal

$5k+ electrolysis hair removal

$10k breast implants

$35k vaginoplasty

Hours updating legal, professional, and financial documents

Lost friends

And later,

$10k removing breast implants

Ongoing $100/month testosterone treatment out of pocket for remainder of my life.


$30k neophalus construction

So no, this was not simply putting on clothes for a few years. This has been, and will continue to be my full commitment to living the fullest life I can imagine and leading the discussion on human potential. I began in domains accessible to most, and have reached territory unknown and collaborators boldly braving a future worth living.

You see, I began my journey before I even discovered the transgender movement. It was in isolation in my apartment in Kyoto, Japan that I discovered body modifications, grinders, and biohackers who explored the limits of body augmentation and the effects on consciousness. I now know from first hand experience that when the body changes, so too does the mind and how we store and process sensory information. And as a derivative of this, our memory archival system and our relational systems are deeply influenced by these embodied processes. Therefore, my journey into an estrogenic endocrine system and back to an androgenic base has been illuminating.

I have faith in ethical advances in human potential. This is distinct from the transhumanist movement in that I believe we will be more deeply human. In metaphor, I seek to influence ethical policies around regenerative medicine, neuromorphic technologies, and sensory enhancement. With these industries rapidly progressing as I write this, I believe we have real considerations around distribution and access to all genetic therapeutics and bodily augmentations. Regardless of this, there will be an emergence of new classes and pseudo castes of humans with enhanced abilities to specialized domains. These castes will ideally correlate to higher order contributions to civilization in the development of our potential. Critically prior to the deployment of said technologies are the policies and thought work to communicate the values and virtues of the optimal vision of our future together.

Herein enters a role for media in constructing the cultural architecture of the space. We are hungry for stories, experiences, and representations of the potential paths forward. From Brave New World to Star Trek, media has spurred industry and directed the development of talent within our economies. How might we continue to direct the flow of innovation towards the ethical progenic future of humanity as stewards of our terrestrial biosphere and further into a thriving, biodiverse, ideologically diverse, and culturally diverse cosmic community? The existing thought work in this arena is termed: “Techno-naturalism.” And a key achievement here is the alignment of the masculine impulse to explore further into the cosmos with the feminine focus of regenerating the soil and biodiversity of of mother Earth. With these polarities in aligned balance, our emergent generational genius is suddenly deeply aligned in iterating and composing our near and far future.

And lastly on violence; I believe the meaning of this word is locked to the timescale of the transactions. When action is constrained, and therefore in violation or absence of consent, the action is violent. Yet, there are some instances where immediacy is required. Therefore, the flow of fully sensate actors must align with full situational awareness to avoid the emergence of violence as a indirect outcome. This repositions agency in those entering the stream of a flow of action and de-prioritizes the stewards of action flows as the solely accountable agents. Here we re-empower all agents in generating a way forward together, and avoid labeling one polarity in a transaction as victim and another as perpetrator. Rather, we create full collaborative frameworks for all interactions. Necessarily unlocking communication pre and post action to the optimal next relationship.

This is the world I want to contribute through.

In contrast to the articles and institutions that celebrated my contributions as Executive Director of The Baltimore Transgender Alliances and the CEO of HostHome Inc, here are some of the articles written about me in a negative light which I have never felt called to respond to until now:

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